Caveman Home Companion

My daughter just moved back to Michigan from Colorado. New apartment, new job and in a few months a new baby. Very nice.

She stopped by the other day and we were sitting out there on the deck enjoying the warm spring afternoon and a glass of iced tea when she asked,

” Hey dad, how is your new fish plank business going?”

“So far….pretty good”

“Pretty good? How many planks have you sold?”

“Ummmm….none.”

Megan gives me one of those eyerolls, leans towards me and whispers, “You want to know why you haven’t sold any fish planks?”

“Ummmm….sure”

“People don’t like fish. You should be making pizza planks. Everyone loves pizza.”

Pizza planks? That’s something I’d never considered. Then again, why not? If you can plank a trout, why not a pepperoni pizza? I decided right then and there I’d call my partner and give this a shot.

So, the next morning I called Ed over at the used car lot.

“Hey Ed, wanna stop by after work for some planked pizza and beer?”

“Did you say planked pizza? Mr. Caveman, it’s a little early in the morning for the single malt, don’t you think?”

“No, I’m not drinking and I am serious. I’m pretty sure that pizza planks could be the new Hula Hoop. People don’t like fish but everyone loves pizza. Dinner starts around 6 or so. See you then.”

I soaked the plank for 8 hours before Ed got here. I started a fire in the BBQ and I also set out the pizza dough, toppings and a case of beer on the counter. It’s all good.

Ed cruises in the front door, I hand him a beer and he asks,

“Pizza planks?”

“Well, to be honest, I got the idea from my daughter. You know, she just got back from college.”

“I know, but didn’t she major in dog grooming?”

“Look Ed, we haven’t sold a single fish plank yet. Lets give this a shot.”

Ed smiles, takes a sip of his beer, “You know, pizza isn’t Paleo? However, I think if we put enough olive oil on it, it might balance out. Lets do it!”

Actually, after a few tries, and several beers, the pizza was great. As the above picture demonstrates, we had to cut back a little on the olive oil. Before this picture was taken Ed had eyebrows and a full head of hair.

Personally, I think in the future I’ll stick to pizza stones. There are some things from the stone age that just can’t be improved on.

Side note:

We still make fish planks, but we have decided not to produce pizza planks. However,  there is one slightly used pizza plank left in our inventory that we are offerring at a 50% discount. Click on the “Caveman Fish Plank” tab above to order.